Look I’m going to level with you: I make good guacamole. Like really good. I don’t make it that often, usually opting for a slightly lazier avocado dip. That’s not to say this recipe is hard, just that sometimes I will take the path of absolute least resistance. When I DO make it though, it’s pure magic.

My recipe is really just a cobbling together of things here and there that I’ve tried and liked (and an exclusion of everything I don’t) in other guacamole. So think of this as more of an aggregate of all the best guac qualities and less as a wholly original idea that I totally invented (because hi, hello I didn’t).

So, here are Rachel’s hard opinions on guacamole:

Use Hass avocados. Other widely available varieties tend to have a high water content making things less buttery and more, well, watery. Ideal avocados will have a stem that is wiggly and practically removes itself from the fruit with a gentle nudge. If the stem is still stuck on there tight, it’s not ripe enough. Once removed, that little hole should reveal bright green flesh – if the spot is brown the avocado is too far gone.

Skip the tomatoes. These are also watery, and unless it’s the middle of summer they are adding virtually no flavor. Save that crap for your pico de gallo.

Make a paste. Mashing the onion, chile, salt and some of the cilantro in a mortar and pestle (or with a metal spoon and some elbow grease) will ensure you get equal flavor with every bite.

Use more salt than lime. This dip is a showcase of avocado flavor – everything else here is a backup dancer. Too much lime will overpower the whole thing so salt the guac until it tastes ready to go and just add a squeeze of lime juice for a little kick (and to give it some acid to keep things from oxidizing).

Add a little crunch, if you like. I like a little finely diced celery or even sometimes radish to add some texture. I’m not going to stand over you in the kitchen and force you but I think you should try it just once.

You can add toppings, but only one at a time and only if they bring something to the party. I’ve topped a bowl with chopped red onion, toasted seeds, roasted hatch chiles and even once mixed in some charred peas (It was good I promise!). All of these were welcome additions but don’t go overboard. You still want this to be about the avocado and you don’t want flavors that will overpower it – so sorry, this is probably not the time for your crumbled bacon. That being said, don’t feel like you need anything extra. No one is unhappy to sit down in front of a big ol’ bowl of plain guacamole.

Cilantro is not optional, but if you’re one of those people with that olfactory-receptor gene that makes it taste like soap, you can leave it out. I have a friend who falls into this category and whenever she comes over, I make a small extra batch of cilantro-less guac because I love her and don’t want her to be closed off to the guacamole world since that is a really lonely way to live.

Now go forth, and multiply this recipe by however much you want because no one is making one avocado’s worth of guacamole. I leave you with this gratuitous bunny picture.

Print Recipe

The Best Hecking Guacamole

The recipe itself is fairly easy, but I've added some optional toppings I like and how to use them. Feel free to skip them entirely - I often do. This guacamole stands on its own and can easily be doubled, tripled etc.

Course

Appetizer

Cuisine

Tex Mex

Prep Time

10 minutes

Servings

Ingredients

• 2 T white onion finely chopped
• 1 T serrano or jalopeno chile finely chopped
• 1/2 ts kosher salt more to taste
• 1/4 cup cilantro finely chopped
• 1-2 Hass avocado 1 large or 2 small
• 1 lime juiced
• 1/2 celery stalk halved lengthwise and finely chopped

optional toppings

• 2 T pepitas toasted
• 1 hatch chile
• 1/4 cup frozen peas thawed
• 2 T red onion finely chopped

Course Appetizer Cuisine Tex Mex Prep Time 10 minutes Servings Ingredients 2 T white onion finely chopped 1 T serrano or jalopeno chile finely chopped 1/2 ts kosher salt more to taste 1/4 cup cilantro finely chopped 1-2 Hass avocado 1 large or 2 small 1 lime juiced 1/2 celery stalk halved lengthwise and finely chopped optional toppings 2 T pepitas toasted 1 hatch chile 1/4 cup frozen peas thawed 2 T red onion finely chopped

Instructions

1. Mash onion, chile, salt and half of the cilantro to a paste with a mortar and pestle (or just with the back of a metal spoon and some elbow grease in a bowl). *see instruction below for peas if using*
2. In a separate bowl, mash avocados by hand (or with a fork) to desired consistency. Leave some marble-sized lumps.
3. Add the chile paste, remaining cilantro and celery to the avocado and stir until mixed evenly. Add extra salt to taste (if needed).
4. Add lime, conservatively, to taste. Like, literally just a squeezed wedge for one recipe.

optional toppings

1. Pepitas OR red onion: sprinkle on top of the guacamole and squeeze a little lime juice over if you have some laying around.
2. Hatch Chiles: turn on your oven broiler. Put chile on a sheet pan in the oven for 5 minutes, turning occaisonally until the pepper is charred and roasty on some parts. Let it cool enough to handle, then remove the the stem, ribs (the white stuff inside) and seeds. Chop it up (roughly 1/2 inch pieces and mix in to the guacamole.
3. Charred Peas: put peas in a nonstick pan over high heat (no oil), shaking occasionally until there are plenty of peas with blackened, charred bits. Mash half of them up with your chile, onion, cilantro and salt paste. Sprinkle the rest on top of the guacamole.

Recipe Notes

You should make the guacamole as close to when you plan on serving it as possible, but if you end up with some leftover, just squeeze lime juice over the whole top and it should last a day or two in the fridge with minimal browning.

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